five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
