I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
