He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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