meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
