So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
