two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize