just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
