Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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