How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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