So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
