But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize