Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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