On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
