put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
