the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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