your parents love me but you hate me
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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