At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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