And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
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I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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