and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
