We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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