My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
it's great music for shaving your balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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