Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
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And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
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Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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