So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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