her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize