she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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