And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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