he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
