google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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