so that wasnt chicken after all
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
