There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.