it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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