i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
