i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
wow bdsm is so cute
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
