brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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