So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
