i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
