its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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