Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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