It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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