I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
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