bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
