"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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