With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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