So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
