brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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