For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
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It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
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