Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize