i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
