So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
