they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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