hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
