so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
