There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
