My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
