fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
