I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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