we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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