Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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