if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
